I am giving a talk this evening, to a student-led conference on leadership and health.
The basic premise of my talk is that you cannot expect to lead or influence others if you are not in command of yourself. Self-control is crucial. It affects how you prioritize, what you say to other people, how you react to emergencies -- as well as on your ability to lead.
Self-control is a practice of discipline. It comes from what is described in the Bible as the "Fruit of the Spirit" (Galatians 5:22-23). It takes time to develop, but is easy to lose!
Why do we lose self-control? I believe one of the biggest reasons is what Dr. Richard Swensen (Margin, 2004) calls a "lack of margin." Just having margins on a page, we should have blank space in our schedules and cushion in our finances. When we are overextended, either with our schedule or our finances, we are more likely to explode when something unexpected arises. Certainly, we lose the positive attitude that draws followers to leaders.
How do we develop more margin? I think Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (1989) has a lot to offer to someone looking for more margin. I will highlight two key points that he makes: 1. Sharpen the saw, and 2. Put the big rocks in first.
Sharpening the saw means taking care of yourself. Getting enough rest, eating healthful foods, and exercising even moderately will go a long way to improving your self control. Covey identifies the need to invest time in yourself for physical, social, spiritual, and intellectual renewal.
To make the time, you have to "put the big rocks in first." That means that you prioritize and protect the time that you need. We often spend too much time on things that are urgent, but not so important. Sharpening the saw activities are important, but not necessarily urgent -- so you need to schedule those activities ahead of the urgent (but not important) ones. Be aware of the time you spend on things that are neither urgent or important (e.g., watching TV, being immersed in MySpace, etc.), and set boundaries on those.
You also have to break the procrastination habit, something I have already blogged about.
No fun? Well, actually, you might find that by creating more margin for yourself and focusing on the right priorities that you will enjoy life more, be a better leader, and have more time for intentional fun. Self control pays dividends.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Individual Throughput
When I was younger, I found it hard to understand why other people could not "get it all done." I was a hard worker, efficient, and results-oriented.
That changed dramatically in my early thirties, for two key reasons. The first is that I had a child. Suddenly, my ability to manage and control my time was greatly diminished. My priorities were divided. There was never enough time to do all that I wanted to do as a mother and as a professional.
The second reason was my career change, from the corporate world into academe. I was better able gto pick and choose the things I worked on, but never really felt completely done, especially as I was developing my expertise. There was always more to learn -- and there are still so many interesting problems to solve!
As a result, during that season of life, I allowed myself very little downtime. As I often said, "I'm a working mom. I'm either working or mom-ing." No wonder I became stressed, cranky, tired and overweight. But I had good throughput!
As I approach 50 (and a new season!), the need for downtime is crystal clear to me. I do not believe this is a function of age, but rather, a result of wisdom. Downtime is beneficial because it restores and re-energizes. And I believe that, by giving yourself the freedom to shut down (and disconnect), you are actually going to improve your overall throughput.
This belief is supported by a recent article published in the Harvard Business Review's October 2009 issue (Reprint # R0910M). In their study of management consultants, Leslie Perrow and Jessica Porter suggest that "Making Time Off Predictable -- and Required" produces better overall results for individuals, the teams, the professional services firm, and the clients.
In our family, we have a few ways in which we achieve downtown. One is the "mental health day," when we are absent from work and/or school to recharge and de-stress. More often, though, we observe the Sabbath (although not always the same day/time of the week). Napping is encouraged and accomplishing tasks and chores is forbidden. We also try, with mixed success, to have disconnected vacations. To achieve this, my son and I have to shake down my husband and get his phone and watch. Otherwise, it becomes a "virtual vacation."
Try this yourself. Set aside a day and give yourself permission to be a human being, not a human doing.
That changed dramatically in my early thirties, for two key reasons. The first is that I had a child. Suddenly, my ability to manage and control my time was greatly diminished. My priorities were divided. There was never enough time to do all that I wanted to do as a mother and as a professional.
The second reason was my career change, from the corporate world into academe. I was better able gto pick and choose the things I worked on, but never really felt completely done, especially as I was developing my expertise. There was always more to learn -- and there are still so many interesting problems to solve!
As a result, during that season of life, I allowed myself very little downtime. As I often said, "I'm a working mom. I'm either working or mom-ing." No wonder I became stressed, cranky, tired and overweight. But I had good throughput!
As I approach 50 (and a new season!), the need for downtime is crystal clear to me. I do not believe this is a function of age, but rather, a result of wisdom. Downtime is beneficial because it restores and re-energizes. And I believe that, by giving yourself the freedom to shut down (and disconnect), you are actually going to improve your overall throughput.
This belief is supported by a recent article published in the Harvard Business Review's October 2009 issue (Reprint # R0910M). In their study of management consultants, Leslie Perrow and Jessica Porter suggest that "Making Time Off Predictable -- and Required" produces better overall results for individuals, the teams, the professional services firm, and the clients.
In our family, we have a few ways in which we achieve downtown. One is the "mental health day," when we are absent from work and/or school to recharge and de-stress. More often, though, we observe the Sabbath (although not always the same day/time of the week). Napping is encouraged and accomplishing tasks and chores is forbidden. We also try, with mixed success, to have disconnected vacations. To achieve this, my son and I have to shake down my husband and get his phone and watch. Otherwise, it becomes a "virtual vacation."
Try this yourself. Set aside a day and give yourself permission to be a human being, not a human doing.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
To Rant or Not to Rant...
... that is the question.
I try to live with a grateful spirit, but lately it seems like I just have one thing after another that really irritates me.
On the customer service front, a light on my street is out. This is a problem for me because I walk my dogs at night, in the dark. Of course, I notice it at 8:30 in the evening, when I cannot do anything about it. Then, just this week, I received the quarterly bill from the county for street light and sewage service (I'm not sure how they service the sewage, but we pay for it). There was a phone number on the bill, so I called it. After wading through the audio response interface, I reached a human voice who told me I had called the wrong number -- and gave me another number to call, which I did. The person who answered that phone was so rude that I think I would have preferred a computer interface -- but I digress. The county does not change the street light bulbs, the electric company does, and she did not have their number. Who knew? My payment goes to the county. Could we not have that information on the bill? Or am I just ignorant in the ways of the world?
Continuing with being ignorant, I am continually challenged by Apple's design paradigm. I should mention that I worked for IBM when they introduced the first PC, and have been a Windows/Intel user ever since. However, I switched to an Apple computer at the office a few months ago (long story). And I received an iPhone for Christmas. So, I love the capabilities of the technology, but it makes me nuts how nothing in the Apple world comes with decent instructions. For example, I added an external hard drive to my iMac. The little pamphlet explained how to plug it in (that I could I figure out). When I plugged it in, a window popped up and I happily formatted the drive. Then I opened the electronic "user's manual," only to find out that it told me how to plug in the drive (a bit of a Catch-22). Nothing about how to run a backup. So I harkened back to my IBM days and thought, "Hmm... it's probably in Utilities." No. Do I drag my files to the drive icon? No. It is in "Time Machine." How intuitive (not)! And my son's iMac is broken, displaying only the "grey pinwheel of death." What about -- just a thought -- an error message? I don't get it.
What really got me started on this rant trajectory, though, was a magazine I picked up. I don't normally read Self, but I grabbed it from the magazine rack where I exercise, to read a feature about someone whom I admire. I could not believe how much of the rest of the issue was dedicated to telling women how incredibly inadequate we are: overweight, haggard, old, unsexy, forgetful, toxic, etc. No wonder so many of the young women I see in the classroom have low self-esteem! I'm pretty sure that the guys don't get those sort of messages. Why do women buy these publications and buy into the ads? I don't get it.
OK, so, trying to restore my grateful spirit, let me say that I am thankful my street light is going to be repaired and that our neighborhood has streetlights. Thinking about Haiti, I should be thankful for electricity and a safe home. I am thankful that I have such great access to technology and that my travails are so insignificant. I am thankful that I am raising a young man with healthy self-esteem.
Whew. No rants next week, I promise.
I try to live with a grateful spirit, but lately it seems like I just have one thing after another that really irritates me.
On the customer service front, a light on my street is out. This is a problem for me because I walk my dogs at night, in the dark. Of course, I notice it at 8:30 in the evening, when I cannot do anything about it. Then, just this week, I received the quarterly bill from the county for street light and sewage service (I'm not sure how they service the sewage, but we pay for it). There was a phone number on the bill, so I called it. After wading through the audio response interface, I reached a human voice who told me I had called the wrong number -- and gave me another number to call, which I did. The person who answered that phone was so rude that I think I would have preferred a computer interface -- but I digress. The county does not change the street light bulbs, the electric company does, and she did not have their number. Who knew? My payment goes to the county. Could we not have that information on the bill? Or am I just ignorant in the ways of the world?
Continuing with being ignorant, I am continually challenged by Apple's design paradigm. I should mention that I worked for IBM when they introduced the first PC, and have been a Windows/Intel user ever since. However, I switched to an Apple computer at the office a few months ago (long story). And I received an iPhone for Christmas. So, I love the capabilities of the technology, but it makes me nuts how nothing in the Apple world comes with decent instructions. For example, I added an external hard drive to my iMac. The little pamphlet explained how to plug it in (that I could I figure out). When I plugged it in, a window popped up and I happily formatted the drive. Then I opened the electronic "user's manual," only to find out that it told me how to plug in the drive (a bit of a Catch-22). Nothing about how to run a backup. So I harkened back to my IBM days and thought, "Hmm... it's probably in Utilities." No. Do I drag my files to the drive icon? No. It is in "Time Machine." How intuitive (not)! And my son's iMac is broken, displaying only the "grey pinwheel of death." What about -- just a thought -- an error message? I don't get it.
What really got me started on this rant trajectory, though, was a magazine I picked up. I don't normally read Self, but I grabbed it from the magazine rack where I exercise, to read a feature about someone whom I admire. I could not believe how much of the rest of the issue was dedicated to telling women how incredibly inadequate we are: overweight, haggard, old, unsexy, forgetful, toxic, etc. No wonder so many of the young women I see in the classroom have low self-esteem! I'm pretty sure that the guys don't get those sort of messages. Why do women buy these publications and buy into the ads? I don't get it.
OK, so, trying to restore my grateful spirit, let me say that I am thankful my street light is going to be repaired and that our neighborhood has streetlights. Thinking about Haiti, I should be thankful for electricity and a safe home. I am thankful that I have such great access to technology and that my travails are so insignificant. I am thankful that I am raising a young man with healthy self-esteem.
Whew. No rants next week, I promise.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Spectrum of Customer Service
Is there anyone that thinks that customer service is not important? There are certainly people and organizations that do not treat customer service as important. Customer service is integral to financial performance, reputation, referrals, and of course, repeat sales.
I have had a range of experiences of customer service this week, ranging from far exceeding expectations to mediocre and beyond.
On the outstanding end, is Nordstrom's. Now, they generally have a great reputation for customer service -- but let me tell you MY story. I bought a pair of Brighton slip-on loafers at Nordstrom's some time (i.e., several years) ago. I don't wear them frequently, but they are fantastic for cold, wet weather because of the rubber sole and chunky heel. Recently, I put them on and noticed that the microfiber fabric that covered part of the shoe was fraying. I no longer live in a town with a Nordstrom's (much to my chagrin and my husband's relief), so I packed up the shoes in the box (with the Nordstrom sticker, but no receipt) and a letter and sent them to the nearest store. In the letter, I asked for replacements or store credit. You could see the rest of the shoes were in great condition, but that the fabric was irreparable.
Well, let me tell you, I received a call within the week. It was a voicemail, asking me to call. I girded myself for a conflict, only to find out that they were crediting MY CREDIT CARD for the FULL AMOUNT. Do you think that makes me a loyal customer? You bet! In fact, I drove all the way to that store location and spent an equivalent amount at the store, just because I was so grateful.
On the other end of the spectrum, I needed a halogen light bulb for my desk lamp. I visited several stores, but none of them stocked the particular size I needed. I ended up going to a distributor in town who caters to contractors. I ordered the part, paid for it, and was going to get a call when it was in next week. That was last November. After several visits and calls on my part, I have asked for a refund. Oh, by the way, it was Lowe Electronic Supply Company.
I have a measure for the spectrum of customer service, based on the glass half full/half empty premise. If you think about having a glass of water in a restaurant, on one end you have someone topping off your water within seconds of you having a sip. On the other end, you can't find the waiter to ask to refill your empty glass.
So, instead of stars, I rate customer service from full glass, half full, half empty, or empty.
Bottoms up!
I have had a range of experiences of customer service this week, ranging from far exceeding expectations to mediocre and beyond.
On the outstanding end, is Nordstrom's. Now, they generally have a great reputation for customer service -- but let me tell you MY story. I bought a pair of Brighton slip-on loafers at Nordstrom's some time (i.e., several years) ago. I don't wear them frequently, but they are fantastic for cold, wet weather because of the rubber sole and chunky heel. Recently, I put them on and noticed that the microfiber fabric that covered part of the shoe was fraying. I no longer live in a town with a Nordstrom's (much to my chagrin and my husband's relief), so I packed up the shoes in the box (with the Nordstrom sticker, but no receipt) and a letter and sent them to the nearest store. In the letter, I asked for replacements or store credit. You could see the rest of the shoes were in great condition, but that the fabric was irreparable.
Well, let me tell you, I received a call within the week. It was a voicemail, asking me to call. I girded myself for a conflict, only to find out that they were crediting MY CREDIT CARD for the FULL AMOUNT. Do you think that makes me a loyal customer? You bet! In fact, I drove all the way to that store location and spent an equivalent amount at the store, just because I was so grateful.
On the other end of the spectrum, I needed a halogen light bulb for my desk lamp. I visited several stores, but none of them stocked the particular size I needed. I ended up going to a distributor in town who caters to contractors. I ordered the part, paid for it, and was going to get a call when it was in next week. That was last November. After several visits and calls on my part, I have asked for a refund. Oh, by the way, it was Lowe Electronic Supply Company.
I have a measure for the spectrum of customer service, based on the glass half full/half empty premise. If you think about having a glass of water in a restaurant, on one end you have someone topping off your water within seconds of you having a sip. On the other end, you can't find the waiter to ask to refill your empty glass.
So, instead of stars, I rate customer service from full glass, half full, half empty, or empty.
Bottoms up!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
To Resolve or Not To Resolve -- That is the Question
It's the second week of 2010, and if the accounts I've read are accurate, most New Year's resolutions have already been broken.
That sounds like a process failure to me.
A "resolution," is a firm commitment to a course of action. If you already know that you're not going to keep the commitment -- then don't call it a resolution, call it a "wish." But assuming that you are truly intent on keeping your resolution, you need to have a specific idea of the course of action. Think of it as a process of change. If a process is unclear, or vague, it cannot be followed consistently.
So, if you are resolving to do something differently (e.g., lose weight, eat better, network more, etc.), I suggest that you define the process you are going to follow. What should the definition specify? Target behaviors, undesirable behaviors, environmental supports and distractors, and specifically when you are going to do the target behavior. I also like to build in rewards for good behavior!
Let's say that you want to eat more healthfully. To eat more healthfully, you are going to have to make time to go to the grocery store. Block that time in your calendar every week. It is time consuming to plan, purchase, and prepare healthful foods. Set yourself up so that it is convenient to reach into the refrigerator and munch on some sliced vegetables. (That would be an environmental support.) If you're hungry, are you going to take the time to cut up the broccoli, or are you going to reach into the pantry for a handful of...?
You are also going to have to avoid environmental cues that encourage you to eat poorly. That may mean: packing your lunch for work, avoiding movie theaters because you can't go to the theater without eating popcorn, avoiding television at night, and cleaning out the pantry of foods you cannot resist. It also helps if you plan ahead so that you can make good choices. If you are going out to eat, pick a place that does not serve your favorite fried chicken!
Build in rewards. It is better if the reward is not the undesirable behavior, as in the case of, "I've eaten so well all week, I'm going out for a double scoop of ice cream." Reward yourself at specific, measurable points.
Be fanatical for the first three weeks. I believe it takes generally about twenty days to engrain a new habit or behavior.
I used food as an example, because that is something we can all relate to. Perhaps your resolution is to stop using profanity. I have one friend who suggests that you "pay the pig" for each transgression (e.g., cr#p might cost a quarter, but the f-bomb is two dollars). Perhaps you will need to avoid people or movies that use a lot of profanity, to help you break the habit.
I have resolved to blog weekly and have blocked time on Wednesday mornings to do so. To make a supportive environment, I have my blog as my home page when I open my browser. And if I blog thirteen weeks in a row, I get a new car as a reward (just kidding, honey!).
If you are going to have resolutions, then be resolute with scheduled commitment, clear action, supportive environment, and rewarded milestones. Let me know how it works for you.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Another hard thing
Last time, I mentioned how hard it is to stop something when you've been doing it for a while. Well, it's also hard to start something, when you've stopped it for a while. Newton's Law about inertia (an object in motion will stay in motion, while an object at rest will stay at rest -- in the absence of other forces) seems to apply to human behavior as well as the realm of physics.
So, even though I don't have a specific topic in mind for this blog, I wanted to get moving and start the year off better than I ended the last one. I had tried to blog every Tuesday, more or less, and let a panoply of obstacles distract me. I can do better, and will do better, this year.
As I reflect on last year, I am thankful for many blessings -- one of which is a more grateful spirit. In fact, it has become a bit of a mental exercise for me, when I'm inclined to complain about something, to figure out how to be grateful for that very thing. For example, as a regular migraine sufferer, I get tired of being laid up with these painful and nauseating episodes. I have learned, however, to be grateful for the rest they provide. When my husband and I walk our dogs, and he complains about how the grass becomes yellow as it goes dormant in the cold weather, I am grateful that it is not snow that we are seeing on the ground. When I am hitting eight and my ball isn't even on the green, I'm thankful to be outdoors and have the opportunity (if not the ability) to play golf. When I think about our teenage son breaking away, little by little, I am grateful for the time we have had together, and for how special he is. Being grateful for moving into a new season of life has been difficult (calling it an "empty nest" does not help), but having a grateful heart does keep me mindful of how small our troubles are.
In the new year, I have many goals. Largely, they center around embracing this new season in my life and being truly grateful for it: polishing my classes until they shine, finishing my book to my publisher's and my satisfaction, being more connected to my social network and resuming my consulting practice. On the personal side, I plan on savoring each moment with my family, playing team tennis with gusto, improving my golf game with patience, and investing in community service with passion.
"For everything there is a season, and a time for very purpose under heaven: 2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, American Standard Version.
Best wishes to all for 2010!
So, even though I don't have a specific topic in mind for this blog, I wanted to get moving and start the year off better than I ended the last one. I had tried to blog every Tuesday, more or less, and let a panoply of obstacles distract me. I can do better, and will do better, this year.
As I reflect on last year, I am thankful for many blessings -- one of which is a more grateful spirit. In fact, it has become a bit of a mental exercise for me, when I'm inclined to complain about something, to figure out how to be grateful for that very thing. For example, as a regular migraine sufferer, I get tired of being laid up with these painful and nauseating episodes. I have learned, however, to be grateful for the rest they provide. When my husband and I walk our dogs, and he complains about how the grass becomes yellow as it goes dormant in the cold weather, I am grateful that it is not snow that we are seeing on the ground. When I am hitting eight and my ball isn't even on the green, I'm thankful to be outdoors and have the opportunity (if not the ability) to play golf. When I think about our teenage son breaking away, little by little, I am grateful for the time we have had together, and for how special he is. Being grateful for moving into a new season of life has been difficult (calling it an "empty nest" does not help), but having a grateful heart does keep me mindful of how small our troubles are.
In the new year, I have many goals. Largely, they center around embracing this new season in my life and being truly grateful for it: polishing my classes until they shine, finishing my book to my publisher's and my satisfaction, being more connected to my social network and resuming my consulting practice. On the personal side, I plan on savoring each moment with my family, playing team tennis with gusto, improving my golf game with patience, and investing in community service with passion.
"For everything there is a season, and a time for very purpose under heaven: 2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, American Standard Version.
Best wishes to all for 2010!
Friday, November 6, 2009
A Tough Decision
One of the hardest things for organizations -- and often, individuals -- to do is to stop doing something. Examples that come to mind are canceling a project, breaking a tradition, and changing a process.
There are many explanations for this phenomenon. On an individual level, a person might be loathe to stop doing something for fear of disappointing other people. Organizationally, it might be impolitic to acknowledge that something is failing and should be stopped. It can also be problematic when no one feels ownership of the issue. And then there is always the challenge of inertia -- an object in motion stays in motion.
Successful people and organizations challenge the status quo mindset and step up to the tough decisions required to stop doing something. To continue doing it wastes resources and complicates operations.
My church's leadership is trying to become a "Simple Church" (Rainer and Geiger, 2006, The Simple Church, B & H Publishing), to reduce the complications and increase the focus of the staff and congregation on discipleship. Many organizations are working on becoming "lean," i.e., reducing wasted effort by following the "Toyota Way" (Liker, 2003, The Toyota Way, McGraw-Hill). Both types of initiatives require the courage to stop doing things that have been done before.
What brought this all to mind is the change to Eastern Standard Time. I do not like it, and think it is an outdated tradition. The idea is credited to Ben Franklin and certainly made sense in an agrarian, un-electrified country. As I understand it, different regions would adjust in different ways, not necessarily in one-hour increments. The time changes became standardized because of the trans-continental railroad's need for a sensible timetable. Some states, e.g., Indiana and Arizona, no longer follow this tradition.
Think about how much time is wasted... changing clocks!
There are many explanations for this phenomenon. On an individual level, a person might be loathe to stop doing something for fear of disappointing other people. Organizationally, it might be impolitic to acknowledge that something is failing and should be stopped. It can also be problematic when no one feels ownership of the issue. And then there is always the challenge of inertia -- an object in motion stays in motion.
Successful people and organizations challenge the status quo mindset and step up to the tough decisions required to stop doing something. To continue doing it wastes resources and complicates operations.
My church's leadership is trying to become a "Simple Church" (Rainer and Geiger, 2006, The Simple Church, B & H Publishing), to reduce the complications and increase the focus of the staff and congregation on discipleship. Many organizations are working on becoming "lean," i.e., reducing wasted effort by following the "Toyota Way" (Liker, 2003, The Toyota Way, McGraw-Hill). Both types of initiatives require the courage to stop doing things that have been done before.
What brought this all to mind is the change to Eastern Standard Time. I do not like it, and think it is an outdated tradition. The idea is credited to Ben Franklin and certainly made sense in an agrarian, un-electrified country. As I understand it, different regions would adjust in different ways, not necessarily in one-hour increments. The time changes became standardized because of the trans-continental railroad's need for a sensible timetable. Some states, e.g., Indiana and Arizona, no longer follow this tradition.
Think about how much time is wasted... changing clocks!
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