Self Control

I am giving a talk this evening, to a student-led conference on leadership and health.

The basic premise of my talk is that you cannot expect to lead or influence others if you are not in command of yourself. Self-control is crucial. It affects how you prioritize, what you say to other people, how you react to emergencies -- as well as on your ability to lead.

Self-control is a practice of discipline. It comes from what is described in the Bible as the "Fruit of the Spirit" (Galatians 5:22-23). It takes time to develop, but is easy to lose!

Why do we lose self-control? I believe one of the biggest reasons is what Dr. Richard Swensen (Margin, 2004) calls a "lack of margin." Just having margins on a page, we should have blank space in our schedules and cushion in our finances. When we are overextended, either with our schedule or our finances, we are more likely to explode when something unexpected arises. Certainly, we lose the positive attitude that draws followers to leaders.

How do we develop more margin? I think Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (1989) has a lot to offer to someone looking for more margin. I will highlight two key points that he makes: 1. Sharpen the saw, and 2. Put the big rocks in first.

Sharpening the saw means taking care of yourself. Getting enough rest, eating healthful foods, and exercising even moderately will go a long way to improving your self control. Covey identifies the need to invest time in yourself for physical, social, spiritual, and intellectual renewal.

To make the time, you have to "put the big rocks in first." That means that you prioritize and protect the time that you need. We often spend too much time on things that are urgent, but not so important. Sharpening the saw activities are important, but not necessarily urgent -- so you need to schedule those activities ahead of the urgent (but not important) ones. Be aware of the time you spend on things that are neither urgent or important (e.g., watching TV, being immersed in MySpace, etc.), and set boundaries on those.

You also have to break the procrastination habit, something I have already blogged about.

No fun? Well, actually, you might find that by creating more margin for yourself and focusing on the right priorities that you will enjoy life more, be a better leader, and have more time for intentional fun. Self control pays dividends.