When Initiative Can Backfire

John Maxwell has what he calls "the law of respect," explaining people naturally follow leaders stronger than themselves.

I believe this is true. I also believe it can make working for a manager who is not as strong a leader as you are EXTREMELY frustrating. You need to make an extra effort to "manage up" in a way that is not threatening to that person. Otherwise, you may find that showing initiative can backfire on you.

Managers who "micro-manage" tend to be insecure, making them more controlling and less trusting. When others show initiative, micro-managers try to lead from behind, i.e., hold back or stall the effort.

For people in this situation, I have several recommendations:

1. Remember that the relationship will not last forever.
2. Find out how your manager likes to be kept informed -- and do it.
3. Keep your boss from being surprised -- let him/her hear from you, rather than someone else.
4. Show your boss respect, if only out of common courtesy.
5. Avoid the politics and backbiting that often accompanies such situations.

Basically, I'm suggesting that you want to take the high road, while still doing your best work. Document your accomplishments. And dress for the next job!

To Resolve or Not To Resolve -- That is the Question

It's the second week of 2010, and if the accounts I've read are accurate, most New Year's resolutions have already been broken.

That sounds like a process failure to me.

A "resolution," is a firm commitment to a course of action. If you already know that you're not going to keep the commitment -- then don't call it a resolution, call it a "wish." But assuming that you are truly intent on keeping your resolution, you need to have a specific idea of the course of action. Think of it as a process of change. If a process is unclear, or vague, it cannot be followed consistently.

So, if you are resolving to do something differently (e.g., lose weight, eat better, network more, etc.), I suggest that you define the process you are going to follow. What should the definition specify? Target behaviors, undesirable behaviors, environmental supports and distractors, and specifically when you are going to do the target behavior. I also like to build in rewards for good behavior!

Let's say that you want to eat more healthfully. To eat more healthfully, you are going to have to make time to go to the grocery store. Block that time in your calendar every week. It is time consuming to plan, purchase, and prepare healthful foods. Set yourself up so that it is convenient to reach into the refrigerator and munch on some sliced vegetables. (That would be an environmental support.) If you're hungry, are you going to take the time to cut up the broccoli, or are you going to reach into the pantry for a handful of...?

You are also going to have to avoid environmental cues that encourage you to eat poorly. That may mean: packing your lunch for work, avoiding movie theaters because you can't go to the theater without eating popcorn, avoiding television at night, and cleaning out the pantry of foods you cannot resist. It also helps if you plan ahead so that you can make good choices. If you are going out to eat, pick a place that does not serve your favorite fried chicken!

Build in rewards. It is better if the reward is not the undesirable behavior, as in the case of, "I've eaten so well all week, I'm going out for a double scoop of ice cream." Reward yourself at specific, measurable points.

Be fanatical for the first three weeks. I believe it takes generally about twenty days to engrain a new habit or behavior.

I used food as an example, because that is something we can all relate to. Perhaps your resolution is to stop using profanity. I have one friend who suggests that you "pay the pig" for each transgression (e.g., cr#p might cost a quarter, but the f-bomb is two dollars). Perhaps you will need to avoid people or movies that use a lot of profanity, to help you break the habit.

I have resolved to blog weekly and have blocked time on Wednesday mornings to do so. To make a supportive environment, I have my blog as my home page when I open my browser. And if I blog thirteen weeks in a row, I get a new car as a reward (just kidding, honey!).

If you are going to have resolutions, then be resolute with scheduled commitment, clear action, supportive environment, and rewarded milestones. Let me know how it works for you.