I am giving a talk this evening, to a student-led conference on leadership and health.
The basic premise of my talk is that you cannot expect to lead or influence others if you are not in command of yourself. Self-control is crucial. It affects how you prioritize, what you say to other people, how you react to emergencies -- as well as on your ability to lead.
Self-control is a practice of discipline. It comes from what is described in the Bible as the "Fruit of the Spirit" (Galatians 5:22-23). It takes time to develop, but is easy to lose!
Why do we lose self-control? I believe one of the biggest reasons is what Dr. Richard Swensen (Margin, 2004) calls a "lack of margin." Just having margins on a page, we should have blank space in our schedules and cushion in our finances. When we are overextended, either with our schedule or our finances, we are more likely to explode when something unexpected arises. Certainly, we lose the positive attitude that draws followers to leaders.
How do we develop more margin? I think Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (1989) has a lot to offer to someone looking for more margin. I will highlight two key points that he makes: 1. Sharpen the saw, and 2. Put the big rocks in first.
Sharpening the saw means taking care of yourself. Getting enough rest, eating healthful foods, and exercising even moderately will go a long way to improving your self control. Covey identifies the need to invest time in yourself for physical, social, spiritual, and intellectual renewal.
To make the time, you have to "put the big rocks in first." That means that you prioritize and protect the time that you need. We often spend too much time on things that are urgent, but not so important. Sharpening the saw activities are important, but not necessarily urgent -- so you need to schedule those activities ahead of the urgent (but not important) ones. Be aware of the time you spend on things that are neither urgent or important (e.g., watching TV, being immersed in MySpace, etc.), and set boundaries on those.
You also have to break the procrastination habit, something I have already blogged about.
No fun? Well, actually, you might find that by creating more margin for yourself and focusing on the right priorities that you will enjoy life more, be a better leader, and have more time for intentional fun. Self control pays dividends.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Individual Throughput
When I was younger, I found it hard to understand why other people could not "get it all done." I was a hard worker, efficient, and results-oriented.
That changed dramatically in my early thirties, for two key reasons. The first is that I had a child. Suddenly, my ability to manage and control my time was greatly diminished. My priorities were divided. There was never enough time to do all that I wanted to do as a mother and as a professional.
The second reason was my career change, from the corporate world into academe. I was better able gto pick and choose the things I worked on, but never really felt completely done, especially as I was developing my expertise. There was always more to learn -- and there are still so many interesting problems to solve!
As a result, during that season of life, I allowed myself very little downtime. As I often said, "I'm a working mom. I'm either working or mom-ing." No wonder I became stressed, cranky, tired and overweight. But I had good throughput!
As I approach 50 (and a new season!), the need for downtime is crystal clear to me. I do not believe this is a function of age, but rather, a result of wisdom. Downtime is beneficial because it restores and re-energizes. And I believe that, by giving yourself the freedom to shut down (and disconnect), you are actually going to improve your overall throughput.
This belief is supported by a recent article published in the Harvard Business Review's October 2009 issue (Reprint # R0910M). In their study of management consultants, Leslie Perrow and Jessica Porter suggest that "Making Time Off Predictable -- and Required" produces better overall results for individuals, the teams, the professional services firm, and the clients.
In our family, we have a few ways in which we achieve downtown. One is the "mental health day," when we are absent from work and/or school to recharge and de-stress. More often, though, we observe the Sabbath (although not always the same day/time of the week). Napping is encouraged and accomplishing tasks and chores is forbidden. We also try, with mixed success, to have disconnected vacations. To achieve this, my son and I have to shake down my husband and get his phone and watch. Otherwise, it becomes a "virtual vacation."
Try this yourself. Set aside a day and give yourself permission to be a human being, not a human doing.
That changed dramatically in my early thirties, for two key reasons. The first is that I had a child. Suddenly, my ability to manage and control my time was greatly diminished. My priorities were divided. There was never enough time to do all that I wanted to do as a mother and as a professional.
The second reason was my career change, from the corporate world into academe. I was better able gto pick and choose the things I worked on, but never really felt completely done, especially as I was developing my expertise. There was always more to learn -- and there are still so many interesting problems to solve!
As a result, during that season of life, I allowed myself very little downtime. As I often said, "I'm a working mom. I'm either working or mom-ing." No wonder I became stressed, cranky, tired and overweight. But I had good throughput!
As I approach 50 (and a new season!), the need for downtime is crystal clear to me. I do not believe this is a function of age, but rather, a result of wisdom. Downtime is beneficial because it restores and re-energizes. And I believe that, by giving yourself the freedom to shut down (and disconnect), you are actually going to improve your overall throughput.
This belief is supported by a recent article published in the Harvard Business Review's October 2009 issue (Reprint # R0910M). In their study of management consultants, Leslie Perrow and Jessica Porter suggest that "Making Time Off Predictable -- and Required" produces better overall results for individuals, the teams, the professional services firm, and the clients.
In our family, we have a few ways in which we achieve downtown. One is the "mental health day," when we are absent from work and/or school to recharge and de-stress. More often, though, we observe the Sabbath (although not always the same day/time of the week). Napping is encouraged and accomplishing tasks and chores is forbidden. We also try, with mixed success, to have disconnected vacations. To achieve this, my son and I have to shake down my husband and get his phone and watch. Otherwise, it becomes a "virtual vacation."
Try this yourself. Set aside a day and give yourself permission to be a human being, not a human doing.
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